What to do?!?

“I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”

 Martin Luther

One of the girls from India from Sarah's Covenant Home whom loved to pray.

Coming back to Nicaragua, I want to do so much. I love being able to work in ministry for children with special needs. This week, we went to different rural communities to visit homes and encourage parents and children with special needs. Many of these families believe that their child is not capable of learning, or is just afraid of facing failure.

However, I feel like I face more than changing the mindset of people about children and people with special needs, and highlighting the potential that these children actually have! There is much more I want to do! There is poverty; poor education system; overlooked children like orphans, children with special needs, or children living by the dump; women facing injustice; hunger for discipleship.

I am not super woman, but I desire to be like the Son of God who gave himself to touch and speak love to all these people during His ministry time. I want to be involved in visiting more community to enhance awareness that children with special needs really are God's children; I want to go to orphanages to support the kids with special needs; I want to teach English to women rescued from prostitution; I want to lead discipleship bible studies to new members of our faith family; I want to somehow be a voice for the children not receiving the education and support they deserve.

Yesterday, as I was telling my dad all I want to be involved with, he kindly reminded me of Luther's quote. Yes, there is a lot of need everywhere you look. It is a broken world, and God desires His Kingdom to come in this broken world. And He wants to use us as His ambassadors, as broken vessels to help with the transformation and restoration. However, "you need to make sure you leave room to be with the Sovereign One."

He shared of how when he graduated from seminary, he wanted to preach all the time. He compared that to how I am feeling. God convicted me through my dad's work in reminding me to remain in Him, to pray without ceasing, to seek His Kingdom first.

I don't know how Jesus did it. Ministering with love and patience all the time, and still getting away from the crowd to pray to His Father. I need to continue to let Him teach me. That way I may rely on Him, and when, in His timing, He leads me to be involved with those different ministries, it will be His strength. . .and not mine. I am willing, but in the process, I need room for Him teach me to be more like Him.

What must I do. . . seek to serve, but most importantly, seek Him first through prayer.

I found this quote from Corrie Tan Boom: “Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?”

I need to ask myself that every day. I really want my relationship with God to be my steering wheel. I fail, but His mercies are new every morning.  

Exalt the Weak and Humble

One of my responsibilities in Tesoros is supporting the few teachers that are willing to have an inclusive classroom around Managua. Out of out 80 children with special needs in our ministry, 20 of them actually go to school.

This past week, I went to visit two schools. It was surprising the difference between both schools.

School 1 -
One of our seven-year old boys is in a pre-k classroom. He has been leaving the classroom without permission, and has been found in dangerous places. Three of us from Tesoros went to talk with the teacher to know how we can brainstorm ideas to decrease that behavior. Well, this young teacher has a small classroom with 37 3- 6 year-old children (with no help)! "He needs individual attention that I cannot give," the teacher said with a concern face. She is willing to help, but does not have the time, resources, or energy to do so. I am so grateful the school and the teacher is not denying the right of education of this student, but am troubled by the lack of support teachers like her receive from the government.

School 2-
One of our most motivated teenagers with cerebral palsy goes to a fifth grade classroom in a great Christian school. He has been very tired lately because of the amount of work and homework he is asked to do. We met with the teacher and principal. Unlike school 1, this teacher has less than 18 students, and loves this boy so much. During the meeting, immediately he took note of giving less homework, yet continue to challenge him academically.

He shared the story of a boy in the fifth grade classroom that had a lot of behavioral problems. He sat next to our Tesoros kid, and when he notices that Tesoros boy is tired, he started helping him. Now, they are good friends, and his negative behavior has decreased significantly! I am so thankful for God's provision of schools and teachers like these where there is room for our children with special needs to also contribute and learn.

It is hard to see the unequal opportunities of education for our children with special needs. Few schools are great at providing opportunities, some try there very best, and many that reject that opportunity for them. I am blessed and praise God for the two schools that are desiring to give children with various capacities value by confirming that they can learn when allowing them to learn with the rest of the children.

I have faith that God stays true to His Word, and that He will exalt the weak, humble, and rejected just like He exalted Jesus. He will continue to open doors for people to see His glory through them in schools, churches, society.

I am on-board, Jesus, to follow you as you close and open doors for the best of your children. Thank you for letting me.

I'm driving!

Last Monday, I began driver's ed. In order to get your license, one must go through driver's ed not matter how old you are. Not many people here have vehicles, so not many go through the driver's ed. However, that does not make it any easier. Interesting, right?

Anyway, when I began driving lesson, I was immediately challenged to drive in the city. . .which is crazy! This is relatively how I felt:

After having the car turn off, almost running over several people, and coming close to hitting a couple cars, and oh, almost being hit by a bus. . . I think I finally have a hang of driving in the city. ^_^

On Friday, I did the most terrible mistake in a main road, and I just had to pull over let my frustration out. My instructor, Don Ramon, was sitting next to me telling me what I did wrong, how I can do it better, and encouraging me to do it again. In his voice, there was gentleness, and firmness.

I did it again. It went better. The car did not turn off, other cars were not honking loudly at me, and I did not come even close to hit any car. Yeah, I did better.

While learning how to drive, and specifically this incident, I was fascinated by the idea of how the instructor reminded me a little of what God does in my life. I would much rather not hear what I am doing incorrectly. I know I did something wrong, but for my own pride, I would like to not know what I did wrong. But, my driving instructor needs to tell me, and I need to hear it, for my sake and for the sake of others. I cannot give up.  I must try it again to do it better.

God does this oh so much. I know I make mistakes. . . hurt someone's feeling, pretend to ignore something, hide from a situation. But, God is faithful to point out where I am failing, what I did incorrectly. To know how to do it better next time to become more like Him, to bring me closer to Him. For the sake of myself and others.  I call this trimming my branches IN ORDER to grow.

I know I fail and make mistakes, and that is where God's grace will pick me up and keep me "driving" without killing myself or others. Thank you God for your grace that abounds so freely.

Philippians 1:6

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will 

carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." 

Philippians 1:6

Tuesday morning, when it was time for the kids to go receive class or therapy, the mothers could not move. Their hearts were touched; their eyes had tears of hope; their eyes also showed amazement. 

On Tuesday, a group of four from Tennessee came to visit our center. Two were pastors, one was a pastor's wife, and another college med student. They all were willing to serve God through serving the children, mothers, and staff. One of the pastors, Daniel, came all the way from Tennessee to share his testimony of how God has brought him here. He shared it before the children had to go do school and therapy.

Here is a gist of his testimony:
Daniel was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was six month old. The doctors told his parents that he was never going to walk or talk. But, his parents never lost hope in God. And they taught their son to have faith on God alone. Before he was a teenager, he was able to walk and talk. Not because of anything anyone did, but because of "the faith I had in my God." He lives on his own, is in charge of his own ministry for the homeless downtown, and communicates fairly well. "Mothers," he said, "do not give up on your son; do not give up on your daughter. I know it is difficult. Trust me, I know. But God is faithful. And what He has begun in your child, he will be faithful to complete it. He is walking with you through this journey." 

The Spirit used Daniel to encourage the mothers and bring comfort to their hearts. To remind the mothers that they are not alone.

One of the mothers stood up, spoke on behalf of the mothers in the room, and asked if her son could shake Daniel's hand.

"I see my son in you. My son has always said he has wanted to be a pastor, and he also has cerebral palsy. I believe my God will continue to touch Him like He has already. I believe he will someday walk."

That is the faith God has called us to live out. Looking dumb to the world for believing impossible things can happen. I do have faith my friend here (Geovanny; who already has blessed me in uncountable ways) will indeed walk, and God alone will be glorified. Not Tesoros, not the doctors. . .but God alone. Just like God is glorified through people like Daniel. And what is better is that God is not done with Daniel or Geovanny yet either. He has so much more for him also.He has so much prepared for each one us.

Our hope can only be in our God alone. If He is faithful to complete what He has begun. . .He is faithful to be there through the process.

Just beautiful . . .

This picture is beautiful. 
 
I love how this mother is lovingly kissing her son as if saying, I will never abandon you. I will always be here. You are special to me.

I love how this precious boy is gladly receiving her kisses and love. He not only receives it, but he is giggling. He is thoroughly enjoying this. He knows she loves him, and he in respond, loves her.

This week, is mother's day in Nicaragua. Holidays are usually BIG in Nicaragua, but Mother's Day is one of those that is highlighted the most. So, in Tesoros de Dios(where I work) we have been celebrating mother's day since last week. :)

For this particular picture, one of the groups of students sang a song to the mothers, told their mothers "I love you," gave them some arts-and-crafts, and ended with them giving them a hug and kiss.

Let me share a little background:
One of the requirements for a child to be in Tesoros, is for an adult to accompany the child in the therapy process (and at times education) so that at least someone in the house may know how to do the same therapy strategy in their homes, and the child may progress.

I would say that 85% - 90% of the adults that come with the children are the mothers. Some of the mothers carry their child that is heavier than them because they don't have a wheelchair or the buses are not made for wheelchairs to fit (only a few out of the 80 children have a vehicle). But that does not stop them. The fact that they may be single mothers, or that they do not have finances, or that their child looks and acts weird does not stop them at all. They strive and live for their son/daughter to reach the full potential God has made them to be. Because they know their child is special, wonderful, God's handiwork.

These mothers portray strength, patience, sacrifice, and love that comes only from the Lord.

It is beautiful.

My praise to the Lord is that these children have mothers that love them in a sacrificial way. My prayer is that more and more orphans around the world may experience the love of a mother somehow. Every child deserves to be kissed like this little boy. Every child deserves to giggle as they are kissed.

Thank you Father for allowing me to celebrate with those children that can be thankful for the love of a mother. Please provide maternal love to every orphan in Nicaragua, India, Haiti, and everywhere.

His lenses

This week:
First day of work, grandpa's stroke, youngest brother's chicken having little chicks, feeling anger towards the injustice with the insurance medical companies one of our students is facing, learning how to do physical therapy on some of our students, being reminded of the need I have of the Holy Spirit.


Some of these events are exciting, wonderful, a blessing. Others are challenges, more difficult, a blessing.
I have been reading through Job, and listened to a John Piper sermon on the first few chapters of Job. In the first chapters, Job says "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord." God gives every single exciting event, person, thing. But Job makes it seem like the Lord also allows the injustice, sickness, weakness. He is sovereing, and He promises to be with us in trouble, as we walk any valley. And in that time, we are also called to bless His Name.

(Here is the sermon in case you are interested in listening: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/job-reverent-in-suffering )

Anyway, having that revealed to me through the Holy Spirit, and wearing the Spirit's lenses, I am able to see His sovereignty in every situation. this is what I got to see how the Lord was present in the two bigger events.


First day of work: I was nervous, but oh so excited! This was a blessing more than anything. Through His lenses, I saw the glory of God that every single child portrays. I cannot believe God has chosen me to see that, and actually be able to serve them.

Grandpa's stroke: God has been healing Him, and He is now spending time in our home. yay!! When he was in the hospital, ALL my family was in the waiting room and then in his room. When I say ALL my family it is uncles, aunts, cousins, cousin's friends, cousins children. . .everyone! My grandpa was having a ball with them, and them with him. There was laughter. It was beautiful to witness. Laughter is medicine to our heart. I saw the truth to that.

Injustice: One of our students is in a critical condition, and the doctors are not wanting to allow her to have the medicine she needs because they say it is useless. If we take that to court, because this family is a humble family and they would be facing the director of the hospital, then the case would be lost. It is the discrepancy of power that unfortunately exists in my country. However, as we went to visit her and her family on Friday, her family's trust and joy and strength in the Lord in this valley is beautiful! God is a just King, and He will bring justice when the Lamb returns as a Lion. And He will bring restoration to our dear girl.

My prayer is to be able to have His eyes, wear His lenses,  be like Job and trust and bless Him every season in life. 

In Nicaragua!!

This past week has been a whirlwind. It is hard to believe that it was a week ago that I was done with student teaching, and was traveling with my family to Dordt for graduation.

Now, I am home. I am home in Nicaragua with my family; with what is familiar to me. 

Landing in Nicaragua on Monday afternoon, heat and humidity welcomed me. A big daddy hug and Nicaraguan Spanish also welcomed me. But also, as we stepped outside of the airport, a little boy with ripped shirt, no shoes, and a flower he had made out of a palm tree leaf welcomed me. He showed the flower to me and asked us for money.

I know there is poverty in Nicaragua. I went to the States with a underneath assumption that there is no poverty in America. . .which, yes, it does exists in America and many ministries are thankfully reaching out to them. Hence, I student-taught in a public school in the city of Chicago and worked with the Hispanic immigrants in Sioux Center. However, poverty in the States is a little more hidden, behind the walls, personal (homeless people are an exception). In my beautiful tropical country, poverty is so visible and right on your face.

Seeing once again this reality, I relate more with my mother's emotions during graduation. Being able to graduate from a private, Christian school in the United States of America without leaving a debt behind is ONLY God's handiwork and grace. It is a miracle, really. Never could we afford it; never could my grandparents think of a gran-daughter studying in America; never had I imagined completing this.

So, returning to my country, where many dream the American dream to work in America to help their families in Nicaragua, is a given opportunity to declare God's goodness and grace in our lives granted through His salvation. 

"Why would you return? Why are you working there? Why didn't you marry and stay there? "

These are some questions already asked to me. People want the best for me. And for some, living in America is the best (not my parents though. . hehe). But, God cares even more for me in a perfect way. Hence, my response to these questions:

God has called me here.

Our Lord cares for this nation so much. He longs for their hearts, and desires to give them Hope in Him. I happen to be an instrument that He has decided to use to share that hope. He chose me for this task! It is humbling, my friends. So humbling. I'm so imperfect and have yet so much to learn, but still He entrusts me. So, like Job, I will bless His name at all times. When He gives and when He takes away. I will bless His name always.

So, here we go!